Before the twins were born I had so many rules.
"The babies will sleep in our room for six months"
"They will exclusively breastfeed"
"This one spot is where we will change their diapers"
And then, they were here.
I couldn't sleep out of fear of the sounds they made at night. I thought they were dying when they made them and dying when they didn't. I wasn't getting any sleep. Out of our room they went.
Breastfeeding was tough. Now, I had two so that was to be expected, but it was harder than I thought and milk production was low due to lack of sleep. So I started exclusively pumping and supplementing with formula.
Oh and the diaper changing. We thought having one station on the third floor of a townhouse would work out perfectly.
Okay okay, I know. By month two we had a changing pad in every room. One even on the dining room table.
What I learned in these first few months is that there is no such thing as black or white in the postpartum period. Gray wins out every time. You may do one thing this way, and the next day you'll do it a different way.
And that is okay.
When you think about this 4th Trimester remember that you, your partner, and even your new baby are learning a new way of being. Your three are forging new relationships, new roles, and new patterns. So give yourself some grace, allow yourself to change your mind, mix things up, and go against that perfect vision of how things are "supposed" to be.
Learn, Grow, Thrive by allowing in the gray.